"Transformation starts with how we use our words- how we speak our story to ourselves and others." Warrior Goddess Training by Heatherash Amara
Have you ever told yourself a story?
A story that you have repeated so many times you believe it to be 100% true?
I'm not talking about the that one time at band camp stories. I am talking about the stories that you tell yourself and others about yourself, about your life experiences, about your expectations, about your likes and dislikes, about who you are.
Are your stories helping you or hurting you? Do they make you feel good about yourself when you tell them, or do you find yourself feeling upset or angry?
In her book Warrior Goddess Training Heatherash Amara describes her experience with her story. "One day, as I was sharing the story of my life with a new friend, I had an epiphany. I realized that my story was not a factual collection of words describing my life. My story was a heavy anchor I was dragging behind me while trying to catch the wind in my sails."
So, I'm going to ask you again.
Have you ever told yourself a story?
A story that you have repeated so many times you believe it to be 100% true?
Is it??
Let's think about the types of heavy anchor stories we tell ourselves.
Scenario 1: You recently got divorced
"I wasted ten years of my life. I should have known that it wasn't going to work out. I should have recognized the signs. I should have known it was too good to be true?"
Scenario 2: You grew up the eldest child
"I was always the one called on to be another parent. I had so much responsibility at a young age. There were so many rules for me and my siblings got it easy. I had to set the expectations for everyone. "
Scenario 3: Your family moved around a lot when you were a child.
"I moved so much when I was a child it traumatized me. I felt like I could never make any true friends. I struggle with opening up to people because I assume they won't stay around. I was never able to grow roots and feel grounded."
If we continue to tell our anchor stories to ourselves and others on repeat, they will weigh us down. They will own us and drive our thoughts and ideas of how we perceive ourselves and our experiences.
Can we change the anchor stories that weigh us down into sail stories that help us grow?
Scenario 1: You recently got divorced
"These last ten years have been full of lessons that I have learned about myself and about life. I was a different person ten years ago and I have grown tremendously. What I was looking for in a relationship back then is not what I need in a relationship today."
Scenario 2: You grew up the eldest child
" Being the oldest taught me the importance of responsibility at an early age. Being a parent now, I realize that my parents were doing the best they can with their first child. I understand that I had to set the bar high for my siblings because I wanted to be someone they could look up to."
Scenario 3: Your family moved around a lot when you were a child.
"Moving around as a child made me resilient. While it was hard to leave friends I had just made, I found it easier and easier to get to know people I just met. It made me a more confident person, not to mention all of the incredible experiences I was able to be a part of in so many different parts of the country. "
So, what's the difference between anchor stories and sail stories? Perspective. All of the above scenarios and descriptions are true, question is.....which story do you tell......which one do you focus on? Which one helps you transform?
Heatherash Amara encourages us to change our stories, she explains that "Transformation starts with how we use our words- how we speak our story to ourselves and others. Like body and mind, words are vessels. Each word we choose can hold vibration of healing, peace and love, or be brimming with fear, victimization, and judgement. Our words help to nourish or deplete our vessel."
Are you nourishing or depleting? Are you healing or judging?
Change your perspective.
Change your focus.
And for God's sake....
CHANGE YOUR DAMN STORY!
Please check out the following resources. I highly recommend reading Warrior Goddess Training, definitely a life changer!
Warrior Goddess Training by Heatherash Amara